World Record Holder
Believe it or not, I used to hold a world record. Despite my lack of noteworthy accomplishments, I managed to achieve greatness in one area. You may be wondering what exactly I was able to excel at, and it’s likely that some of you are assuming it was a competitive eating record.
If you guessed that I broke the record for eating the most pies in 3 minutes or for skewering baked beans with a cocktail stick, you’d be mistaken. In fact, I achieved a world record in 1991 for Nintendo Golf.
In my opinion, the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) remains the ultimate gaming device ever created. I would constantly indulge in games such as Tetris, Mario Brothers, Micro Machines, Slapshot (which allowed for thrilling hockey fights), Nintendo Tennis, and Golf, each with their own level of triumph.
My favorite game was Golf. I spent countless hours sitting at my desk, attempting to maneuver a pixelated ball into a pixelated hole using a pixelated stick. My dedication paid off, as I became quite skilled at the game.
As a self-proclaimed geek, I used to purchase the official Nintendo magazine solely for its high scores section (in a time before the internet). One day, I stumbled upon an article about a young American with acne who held the world record for Nintendo Golf at 16 under par. Knowing that I consistently finished the game with 14 or 15 under par, I was confident that, with a bit more practice, I could easily break this record.
On a Sunday evening, it finally occurred. I recall it being a Sunday because my brother, Rory, repeatedly urged me to hasten my pace so we could catch the start of London’s Burning. With just 20 minutes to go before Bayleaf, Sicknote, Josie, and the rest of the crew appeared on our 14″ color portable, I was 14 under with only four holes remaining. The competition was now in full swing.
I can’t recall the precise arrangement of the course or my activities during the final four holes, but I recollect finishing with a par. I’d beaten the world record by two.
With excitement coursing through my veins, I leaped around the bedroom, urging Rory to grab the camera. In order to have my achievement recorded in the magazine, I had to snap a photo of the score on the screen and send it to Nintendo. I quickly captured the image with our tiny camera, and then proceeded to snap a dozen or more photos of our feline friend, simply to use up the remaining film.
As Tuesday was my off day, I decided to drop by Boots to have my film developed. After handing it over, I paid 7 pounds and was informed that it would be ready in a week.
On the Tuesday that followed, I retrieved the photos and discovered a snapshot of my portable TV, featuring a screenshot of my victorious score.
Afterwards, I was required to send the photo along with my personal information to the Nintendo magazine headquarters located in Japan. Subsequently, I had to wait for a response.
Despite holding the record, my picture did not feature in the magazine even after two months had passed, leaving me with no evidence to showcase my achievement to the world.
One day, everything came crashing down when I received a letter from Nintendo that began with words of appreciation for my picture and record. However, what followed shattered my world.
Well done on your fantastic score… However, the score cannot be identified in our magazine due to a glare on the photo that is not visible when transferred to our printer.
I felt utterly crushed.
No official world record for me!